Monsoon Tears

**written from the plane**

The moments leading up to something can be exciting or agonizing depending upon that which one is waiting. Torture’s naughty cousin sometimes goes by the name foreplay. I have decided, with somewhat forced purpose, to enjoy and celebrate the moments that are leading up to my arrival in India.

Yesterday, I went to my office to tidy up a few open ends before I knowingly slip into a black hole of time, space, and emotion, with the knowledge that I will soon arise a new man of family!  

Once home, there were errands to complete and knots to tie before Paul brought Loretta (my travel guide friend and honorary Nana extraordinaries) and me to the airport.

I let the dogs in the yard to have a final few moments with them before we left and when we came back inside I realized it was time to say goodbye to my pups for I won’t see them for at least a month and more.

We have never been away from our dogs for more than a week or so since we first met their incredible fulfilling spirits 9 years ago. At first I was going to give a casual hug, snug, and kiss and wave goodbye while trying to rush out of getting choked up, but I picked up Girogio (the bestest friend ever – I always remind Paul that George is truly the only one in the world who REALLY understands me) and I couldn’t put him down.

I held him nestled in the crook of my neck and suddenly giant rain drop tears were streaming down my face. Clearly I am raw in the emotion department this week but there was so much more beyond being sad that I’m leaving my friend behind while I travel far, far away.

There was a gravity to that moment in knowing that everything was about to change within each and every rhythm of our world. This was a last moment of sorts. Our current ‘kids’ are about to have strange little needy creatures budding in on their time and they don’t even know it yet. Years and years have passed with our dogs being a critical and central part of our lives.

Like many childless couples of any orientation, one settles into a special relationship with animals as precious beings to share in life and reward in selfless ways that no man truly deserves.

Many of our most treasured friends that we share in life are because of our spectacular silly little breed. As a matter of fact, having a pre-flight cocktail, Loretta and I had a chuckle over how she has ended up in a lounge with me waiting to fly to Delhi after meeting Paul and me at a dog play date in 2001. If someone whispered that factoid in her ear when we met years ago, it certainly would have sounded a little odd at best! And she doesn’t even have a dog!

Anyway, Giorgio was looking at me with his wide chocolate eyes like ‘what the heck is up with you, ya big cry baby!’ but he nonetheless stayed limp and suffered through as I held him tighter to try and make him know how much I will love him when we return even if I won’t/can’t have a fraction of the time to spend with him.

I tucked him into his favorite chair and put a blanket over him and picked up Madison and gave her a few teary raspberries on her neck. She loves - and expects that - from me. And then I picked up Pepper and held him on his back as he gave little sweet nudges against my face to wipe the tears from my cheek.

Paul was standing in the doorway watching my very sad little one-man performance of ‘So Long Little Doggies,’ and gave me a hug.  And with that, it was time to go to the airport.

I thought to myself, 'Hell with tissues, I’m going to need a truck load of handkerchiefs to get through this day!' 

***now in India***

The flight was largely uneventful - save for boarding and after an hour having to de-board and take another plane after an announcement that there was a mechanical problem that was best to be addressed while on the ground. 

I flew first class so was spread out fully into a bed on board which made the 14+ hours a breeze. I slept at least 7 or 8 hours and each time woke up and looked at the air map to see how much closer we were getting to our girls. The awake hours of the flight were spent on the precipice of excitement, hope, and love.

As we descended, I welled up several times while the inside of my head was screaming 'Vivian, Aira, and Sidney - DADDY is coming....I'm almost there! Can you hear me?' 

Finally, we landed at around 10:30PM local time. The new airport is modern, efficient, and clean and we sped through customs and got our 5 checked bags and met our driver. 

The air in India holds a distinct sense memory feeling that almost resembles a texture. There are few places in the world that I feel have that instant sensory recognition but India is near the overload top!  With your eyes closed, you can hear and smell the surroundings and know without a doubt where you are. It's not offensive. Just clearly different than home.

The temperature is very warm and humid as the region comes to the end of the monsoon season. I think the weatherman must say it is going to be '....in the 80's with a good chance of smelly.' I certainly felt that way after I started to sweat as I adjusted to the air. 

There were big locked gates that resembled the entrance to the land of Oz. I knocked until the security man let us pass, clearly seeing my heart pounding nearly outside of my chest when I exclaimed while smiling, 'I'm here to see my children!'

We walked upstairs to the nursery and finally, after traveling 7,000 miles and waiting a lifetime, I was able to see my family with my own eyes.

There simply are not enough words in any language to express what I felt at that moment, the newest best moment of my life!

Everyone is doing well. It is after 2AM now and I will return to the hospital in the morning to speak with the doctors to discuss discharge dates and next steps.

We spent about a half hour sharing smiles and tickles of little perfect feet full of perfect little toes and are now settled into our home-away-from-home. I can't stop smiling!

I gotta tell you....it was worth the wait!

Who has the bigger smile?